just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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