My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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