Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
