don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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