does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
