Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize