i will never coherently bang her
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I did not marry a roomba.
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