I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Please, let me fuck your mom
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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