ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
