i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Holy sore nipples Batman
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
