If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
