dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
