So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
