This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
