is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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