You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
