pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
