You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
