Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
