I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
