'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
