try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
