I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i out mim tonsoeep
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