I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
wow bdsm is so cute
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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