They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
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