Swine flu. Run for my life!
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i drank out of a bidet.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize