how can u be prego again
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
