i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
