I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
