Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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