Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
