a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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