New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
