Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
