is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
