I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
