If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
