I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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