1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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