i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
