Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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