everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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