Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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