Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
