Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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