I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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