yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
