spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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