You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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