I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
