I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
YAS. BRING CRAB.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
