everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize