How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize