ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
