the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize