Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize