About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
