Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I looked at my own cervix.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
