you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize