someone get that fucking seahorse.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
