Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
